I Might Have Married An Alien

There are certain things you don't ask on a first date.  I submit a few to you from personal experience:   How much do you weigh?  When do you want to get married?  and finally Are you an alien?

It may be self-explanatory, but the first question is one that should never be directed to me...the second question I suggest is never asked to either men or women under any circumstances even if you are both on the Queen Mary, and it's sinking...and the third question is specifically for my husband, Jay.  I have some explaining to do.

My husband Jay is from Roswell, New Mexico.  I will give you all five seconds to come up with your favorite alien joke off the top of your head.  I'll just be over here humming "The Girl From Ipanema".  5...4...3...2...1.  I will pause again as you laugh to yourself about your alien joke. Okay, are we ready to move on?  Good.  I would now like to apologize to all of you for mentioning "The Girl From Ipanema" because it's quite likely that you might all be singing the song in your head.  Lo siento.

I didn't know much about Roswell 10 years ago before I met Jay.  You probably know that it is believed by many that the outskirts of Roswell were the site of a UFO crash in the 1940s.  Full-blown cable specials on conspiracy theories and alien experts have become en vogue, but that wasn't the case when I met Jay.  Oh how times have changed. I have on occasion watched bits and pieces of these shows hoping to learn more about aliens and determine whether or not I am married to one.  Of course, having been to Roswell personally dozens and dozens of times, it's hard to miss the Alien mania all around town.   I have particular fondness for the street lights which line Main Street.  

The bottom line is, over the years I have collected evidence that could suggest Jay might in fact be an alien:

1.  He changes clothes an average of 2.5 times a day.  This could be because he is an alien and they are constantly trying to adapt and blend in. Or, this could be because I do the laundry and he is unaware how much extra work he is generating for me.  

2.  He is oddly obsessed with the weather.  With the exception of my mother who has a favorite meteorologist on The Weather Channel,  I have never known someone so aware of the weather today, tomorrow and what it is supposed to be doing this time of year.  Jay could be keeping track of weather patterns and reporting back to his home planet.  They would need to gather historical weather data to ensure they are traveling to Earth at the most opportune times.  Or, he could be the ultimate boy scout who needs to be prepared for any situation at all times.

3.  He can name any aircraft in the air, even with his eyes closed.  Granted, I am not exactly able to check his work, but he is confident about the manufacturer and model with each plane he sees or hears in the sky.  From "Above Top Secret," Jim Marrs suggests that aliens are far more advanced than humans when in comes to advances in air travel.  Jay could have gained this encyclopedic knowledge while in Alien training on his home planet.  Or, he could simply have an obsessive compulsive disorder regarding a hobby and interest that has persisted since childhood.

I realize that most people reading my blog are my friends and could be naturally concerned about my safety if Jay becomes aware that I am on to his could-be-an-Alien ways.  Don't worry, dear comrades, it is well known that Aliens don't read blogs.