Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Monday, April 20, 2009

Reminders

It's strange, really.  Life goes on, days pass, happiness happens.

And then it hits me.  Unexpectedly I see what most people wouldn't even notice.  A sign just off the freeway that I travel 156 times a week.  But today it's different.  I see the sign and a bolt of lightning flashes through my eyes forcing each shut for a split second.  I let out an audible sigh reacting to the feeling of being briefly punched in the stomach.  The sign simply read:  "Shopping Center Open in August 2009"...which seems harmless.  But seeing it today reminds me that I saw that sign during my 13- weeks-of-pregnancy-bliss, and used it as a benchmark.  Yes, I had something to look forward to just like the consumers of my city. By August 2009, I would be a mother finally. Finally.  

After doctors, tests, needles, surgeries, more doctors and even diagnoses, pregnancy was finally happening.  Then the worst happened and we/I lost the baby.  Gone.  Now I see the sign and remember how happy I was thinking of that time in the not-so-distant future.  Not this time. Not the summer of 2009.